What’s harder than forgiving others?
Wounds of life are difficult to heal. Especially those wounds given to us by someone we have trusted and loved.
Zechariah 13:6 says: “And if one asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your back?’ he will say, ‘The wounds I received in the house of my friends.’”
Equally painful are the wounds we carry from the wounds we have given others. Forgiveness is a very difficult thing when the pain we have experienced can feel debilitating. The lack of giving forgiveness or receiving forgiveness will always cause us to see things and receive things through the lens of yesterday and back to the point of harm.
Forgiveness can be blocked by denial- the denial of being injured, the failure to recognize a painful event in our lives, and the denial of the pain we have caused. Forgiveness can also be blocked by fear. Which keeps us from dealing with intense emotions for fear of being hurt more or hurting someone else. Fear can tell us not to forgive as you will justify the other person’s actions. Forgiveness is not forgetting!
It does not mean they were right.
It does not mean that the pain stops.
It does not mean the other person controls you or the circumstance.
1 John 1:9 ”If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
We can forgive and be forgiven when we become more interested in the dynamics of the offense and not blame for it. Forgiveness comes when we are more interested in moving forward than we are looking at the past. Forgiving is a decision to move beyond the pain and control of our emotions. Forgiveness is a choice! How can I grow in forgiveness? Here are some thoughts: Forgiving oneself is much like forgiving someone who has offended you. Forgiving someone else means that you choose to no longer hold the offense against them. Whatever their offense it is no longer a barrier. The same is true of forgiving yourself, it is a choice that must be made daily!
We can forgive and be forgiven when we become more interested in the dynamics of the offense and not blame for it.
Forgiveness comes when we are more interested in moving forward than we are looking at the past.
Forgiving is a decision to move beyond the pain and control of our emotions. Forgiveness is a choice! How can I grow in forgiveness? Here are some thoughts: Forgiving oneself is much like forgiving someone who has offended you. Forgiving someone else means that you choose to no longer hold the offense against them. Whatever their offense it is no longer a barrier. The same is true of forgiving yourself, it is a choice that must be made daily!
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here.”
The need for forgiveness always begins with an offense, whether it be some form of pain, anger, disappointment, disbelief, a sense of betrayal, or rejection. These are emotions- emotions are rarely factual- they are real but are based on feelings many times not on fact. No matter who you’re forgiving, it’s hard. Forgiveness means that we choose to forgive the penalty, pardon the offender, pardon the offense. It means letting go! Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a decision.
Whether we’re talking about ourselves or we’re talking about others it’s about releasing them to God. God is capable of doing what is just and right for us and others. Let me be clear: forgiveness does not remove all the results of hurt, anger, or failure. Even with genuine forgiveness the consequences of actions and words are never fully removed. It does not remove all our painful emotions. Forgiveness is a commitment to accept. It is a decision not to demand justice but to show mercy and to let go and let God.
Could we talk about anything more difficult? Is anything more complicated?
If we wanted to talk about it where do we even begin? A good place to start is taking a long hard look in the mirror. We identify what is ours and what is others and then spend time analyzing (with truth and honesty) the difference always asking the question what can and what shall I do now? Question: do we want the future to be different? Grace – forgiveness – apologies.
LET GO!
Prayer:
My prayers are filled with wounds open and painful. The painful wounds that lasted were caused by someone I loved. The wounds of love are the most painful. My very soul feels scarred by actions and yes circumstances that I just don’t understand. I cry why! Why me? I am stuck! Now in my heart, I look at these hurts that I have received and am reminded of the hurt I have given. Seeking your Face I now see that the hurts I have caused and the guilt that consumes me matters. Oh, God forgive me for the pain I have inflicted on others. Is it possible for me to be forgiven? Is it possible for me to forgive? Help me by your Holy Spirit to be ready to say: I’m sorry. Forgive me. Allow me in my heart to give forgiveness not only to others but to myself as well. You have forgiven me so much, O God, help me live a life not encumbered by the past hurts of life- show me how to live a life of new creations with the old past and the new arriving in me daily.
Amen.
